~ Football Terms Applied To The Congregation! ~
The following definitions are from an unknown source.
Backfield In Motion ~ Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the church service.
Bench Warmer ~ Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything in the church but sit, soak, and sour.
Blitz ~ The rush for the restaurants following the benediction.
Draw Play ~ What many children do with the church bulletin during the service.
End Run ~ Getting out of church quickly without speaking to any guest or fellow church members.
Flex Defense ~ The ability to allow absolutely nothing from the sermon to affect your lifestyle.
Half Time ~ The period between Sunday School and the worship service when many choose to leave.
Halfback Option ~ The decision of half the congregation to not return for the evening service.
Instant Replay ~ The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.
Quarterback Sneak ~ Church members quietly leaving during the closing invitation.
Staying in the Pocket ~ What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.
Sudden Death ~ What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes “overtime.”
Trap ~ You’re called on to pray and are asleep.
Two Minute Warning ~ The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
Additional Note: If you enjoyed this post you might want to read a prior ALN post entitled “EXTRA: Super Bowl Lessons” (January 31, 2015) and “The Divine Sport” (October 8, 2014).
~ Robert Lloyd Russell, ABUNDANT LIFE NOW
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