Friday, February 5, 2016

Football Terms

~ Football Terms Applied To The Congregation! ~

The following definitions are from an unknown source.

Backfield In Motion  ~  Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the church service.

Bench Warmer  ~  Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything in the church but sit, soak, and sour.

Blitz  ~  The rush for the restaurants following the benediction.

Draw Play  ~  What many children do with the church bulletin during the service.

End Run  ~  Getting out of church quickly without speaking to any guest or fellow church members.

Flex Defense  ~  The ability to allow absolutely nothing from the sermon to affect your lifestyle.

Half Time  ~  The period between Sunday School and the worship service when many choose to leave.

Halfback Option  ~  The decision of half the congregation to not return for the evening service.

Instant Replay  ~  The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.

Quarterback Sneak  ~  Church members quietly leaving during the closing invitation.

Staying in the Pocket  ~  What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

Sudden Death  ~  What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes “overtime.”

Trap  ~  You’re called on to pray and are asleep.

Two Minute Warning  ~  The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Additional Note:  If you enjoyed this post you might want to read a prior ALN post entitled “EXTRA: Super Bowl Lessons” (January 31, 2015) and “The Divine Sport” (October 8, 2014).   

~ Robert Lloyd Russell, ABUNDANT LIFE NOW

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